Not-So-Random Thoughts: Relationships

There’s something that has been bothering me for the past few epochs of humanity, and that’s the so-called equality and fairness in relationships. Now before I get too deep into this, I’m not referring to Parent-Child and/or Sibling relationships; in a parent-child relationship, until the child is effectively an adult that can fend for themselves, they are subject to the whims of their parent(s). There is no equality. Siblings…eh, that can be argued, whether you’re the oldest, middle, or youngest. I will also not be discussing the roles given in each relationship through various religious practices.

I’m referring to outside relationships. Boyfriend-Girlfriend, Husband-Wife, Wife-Wife, Husband-Husband, et cetera. Ever since the beginning women have been below men, and that’s not something I was ever appreciative of. Why should body parts dictate who dominates whom? Simple, they shouldn’t. And yet, that’s the way it is.

Even if you haven’t read the Bible, you’ve heard of the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Metallica decided to give us another choice…or rather brought to us what really goes on in this dreaded society: Do unto others as they’ve done to you. Which one applies to the topic at hand? Both. It’s no secret that women do the same despicable things that men do. It’s no secret that both sides partake in infidelity. It’s no secret both sides abandon the other in their times of need. No one is perfect. However, we have the capacity to be better than those that wrong us. That’s not particularly a secret either, but it does seem unattainable sometimes.

A relationship takes two. I’ve listened to male comedians in relationships speak of the “jobs of women”, and I’ve listen to female comedians speak of the “jobs of men”. Whether you’re in a heterosexual sexual relationship or a homosexual relationship, we all have jobs to make our relationships work.

  1. Do not objectify your partner, or anyone for that matter. It’s beyond disgusting.
  2. Heed your partner; listening and communication are key in relationships. Everyone says that, but think about it. How many arguments does it take before someone’s true feelings come to light? Often times, just one.
  3. Loyalty is a deal-breaker for me, personally. If you can’t show me loyalty, why should I show you respect in general? Because I’m a Christian? Sure, keep telling yourself that.
  4. No one is better than the other. You graduated from college, and I didn’t; I own a Fortune 500 company, and you don’t; you’ve been through more than I have; I have more street smarts than you. It’s all irrelevant.

It’s often said that the man, or stud is the head of the relationship, whilst the woman, or femme is the neck. It’s good to have an head and all, but without the neck, you’re kind of stuck. The head only turns in the direction that the neck allows.

Time is important. Time waits for no one, though the say that true love waits for eternity. Hundreds of thousands of people, myself included, would agree with that sentiment, but let’s face it. We don’t have epochs upon epochs to wait for you to do whatever. In all relationships, there’s at least one point in time where one is too busy for the other. It could be when you both are in college. It could be when you’re in a long distance relationship. It could even be when you’re living together and barely see each other, and work is kicking the crap out of either both or one of you.

But you need to make time. It’s a part of the “job” of each party in the relationship. Show me that I’m important enough to you, that you would set aside at least a few seconds to tell me that you love me. Show me that you’re worth the wait. And at the same time, I will show you that I love you. I will show you that I’m worth the wait

Another thing I’ve learned is that time in a relationship is often times irrelevant. People that have been married for thirty-six year end up getting divorced. So if they didn’t make it, what hope do we have? People can say anything they want. And some are almost expert liars. Come on, we’ve all been in a relationship with at least one of them. So saying that I won’t leave you because we’ve been together for… I don’t know… since the beginning of time, doesn’t necessarily fill me with a lot of faith that you wont just up and leave.

The last things I’ll touch on are emotions, and faith. Everyone is entitled to feel what they will. Whether your default emotion is anger, or sadness, or envy, or joy, or even fear. But what’s important is that you respect your partner’s wishes. If they want space, give them space (I personally struggle with that one), if they need to go out with their friends, don’t hound them with accusations of infidelity, or questions of jealousy.

And have faith. Have faith that your time isn’t being wasted with them. Have faith that everything will get better, because it will. Have faith that their words are true.


As always, I’ll see you when the doors of the Darkmoon Library open, and if you wish to find me, look to the moon.

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